It Will Be Too Soon

So i dont know what to do anymore. Honestly im so lost in life right now. I feel like everyday im being punished for something I did not do. I feel like everyday is my day to pay when ive done nothing wrong. I hate these feelings. I want to be normal, Im sick of being like me. I know it sounds so lame wishing you were someone else but i wish I was someone else. Someone who never had to walk into a court room for there whole life, someone who had confidence and knew how to be happy. Im always doing something wrong, every single day. Im always limiting myself because of my confidence. Honestly, I hate who I am. I hate being me. It sounds depressing but its not even a matter of depression its just purely that I got stuck with a body and personality that I did not want. When they were handing out lives I was last in line. Im so sick of being that person who will never amount to anything. Never find his place. Never fall in love and be loved back. Never be happy with himself. Im trying to stay positive but its not working. Everyone around me is doing something with there life or is good at something that no one else is good at. Me? im the extra. Im the one who is best at being absolutely nothing. I cant help but feel this weird heavy feeling in my chest right by my heart. It feels like im being weighed down and its making me move slower and lay around more. god dammit I want a vacation from life, I want to be away from everything and not feel stressed out anymore. I want to be normal. Where the fuck was I when they were handing out "im a normal kid who gets decent grades and lives in a nice house life" This is not fair. This is not right. Everyone says everything happens for a reason. What reason do I honestly have? What porpous is mine? I want this feeling in my chest to go away. Maybe I can go to the doctor or something. I need help. I need someone.