The Darkness For Me Is Where I Shine

Im getting pretty damn sick of people playing with my state of mind. Your messing with a mind that was not built all that right in the first place. Anyways, today was okay I guess. I made friends. Like actual friends my own age, haha so thats pretty awesome for once. I have class with them. School is almost over thank god and im almost on my way to graduating. yay for ianturtle. I honestly dont want to walk though, Im down to just get my diploma and not have to deal with the ceremony. Its so stupid and I honestly dont care. There is no reward for this year, this year has just been shit for me and I want to get through it as fast as possible. All the seniors are like "yay grad night! yay senior day! Picnic and parties and hang out with your friends!" Well first off. I did not go to this school until january which really makes you not care about any awards or ceremonies, second I have no friends who are seniors, like okay i have people who are like "HI ian! [=" but they would never hang out with me. So its like oh yay i get to celebrate something I dont care about with people that dont care about me or know me. Everyone is like "you only graduate once just do it" but its like fuck man I have no motivation for this. Im always alone and no one ever notices me. I pretty much just blend in as my friends spill out there popularity to the school. My Friends are the best, I love them but sometimes its so depressing being around them because its like each one of them has a future and im not saying thats bad, im more then happy they have a future but its just I dont have one.. and everyday I am reminded that i dont have one. Then there is prom. ohhh boyy, this is stressful, I know its easy "just dont go" and yeah thats all fine I really dont care but see everyone is just soo bent on me going. I mean yeah itd be nice to go but I really dont care if I go or not. There are a few people i would not mind going with but if they dont ask me then it wont happened xD. Well speaking of not happening, my love life has gotten.. interesting? So im single and ive been forced to move on from my past love scene. So i started talking and well I actually am interested in a few people. One of them I barely know but she seems pretty chill, one of them will only date scene guys but yet she keeps giving me false hope then leaves then comes back, one of them it almost worked out a few months back but she found someone else and yeah but we are talking to each other again, then there is this other girl who ive only hung out with once but she is pretty awesome and knows how to make me smile :D. Its not like im in any spot to pick since none of them are interested but i guess its just something to give me to look forward to. Only one of those girls go to my school. the other ones go to different schools or graduated. BUT like I said, its not like any of them are interested so moving on.. did i Mention how excited I am to play a show this weekend? Stalk your shadow has just been shitting for like a month and not playing any shows or practicing at all. We have this weekends show, then the big show the next weekend with story of the year. So hopefully we get to practicing soon so we wont look like totall shit when we get up there ( =
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