Bring Me back to when girls did not matter

Well i guess its time to update once again, went to court today and guess it was not the best of news. I was a little disappointed by the results but hey better then regestering or going to jail right? I have to do 180 days of community service (so about 6 months or so?) and im going to be on probation as of may 5th (maybe) thats when I go back to court. I talked with the probation officer and she seemed to give me tough love and I think she knew this was not my fault and it was unfair. everyone is saying "take her whole family down with you" and i wont lie. It really makes me sad to see them trying to destroy my life when i did nothing but be something there daughter needed. a shoulder and someone to actually listen to her. I feel so bad for her and everything she also has to go through. I mean okay yeah im in a lot deeper water then she is but try and imagine what it would be like. I know its gotta be hard for her and if i could talk to her id say that im really sorry all of this happened and I hope someday her family gives her the love she deserves and that this will all pass. but anyways onto other topics. I saw my friends today :D I hung out with Lori, bestie, danny, tommy, greg, jessica, Oyst, and Vivienne. Although I did not see vivienne or tommy much, they just kinda disappeared D: but I still got to see everyone which was awesome. It was good to get away from court room stress for awhile. but then the minute I left I for some reason just felt so unwanted and useless. I was deff having a pity party but not flaunting it. I just wanted to be alone. i started thinking of "this thing ruined my life. Why of all things this happened to me? im never going to find a girl who would be with me. Im never going to get a job. Im stupid and ugly and pointless to this world" you know the usual Ian feelings I get. They sorta went away and now im just kinda blah. But anyways thats about it. Ill keep you guys updated on everything and post something hopefully that is good news<3